Into the Depths: February 2011

Friday, February 25, 2011


I am getting old...rapidly. As I near what is, for the average person, the middle of my life, I am prone to sadness. (Considering my not so healthy lifestyle, I am probably well past the middle!)

So, I'm doing what I do, trying not to think about it. Yet, thoughts invade against my will and swirl tirelessly through my mind.

Thirty-five. Single. Childless.

That is not a place most people envision for themselves.

I'm sure there's a point. A reason for the state of my life. Some grand master plan.

The problem I struggle with of late is that if this grand master plan leaves me at this stage of life, the stage most people graduated from at ten or more years my junior, well I am not sure I am able to happily resign myself to that. There are only two choices, resign happily trusting in His wisdom or continue into bitterness and resentment toward the One who created me and 'wrote each of my days in His book before one of them came to be'.

It's a tough place to be, tough choice to make. I admit, I don't like it :)