Into the Depths: November 2007

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Another Overdue Update

It's pretty sad that today is the first time in at least a week that I've been to my own blog!

I have trouble coming up with something to say when I'm near the computer and trouble getting to a computer when I have something to say.....details.

So it's almost Thanksgiving and I admit I am not the tiniest bit excited about it, dreading it really. There has already been family chaos over this years festivities and I would much rather just opt out. That, of course, is not an option, though.

We are doing "The Twelve Steps: A Spiritual Journey" in our Sat. women's group. Basically, the twelve steps rewritten with all the Christian vernacular included, rather than the 'anonymous' way that God is referred to in the original. The leader calls it 'the Christian life for dummies' and she is actually quite right. As we've worked through the first several steps I've found myself applying the principles throughout the day with issues that cause annoyance, frustration and worry. Admitting that in and of myself I am powerless, recognizing God's rightful place as Lord of my life and that only He has the power to restore me to sanity.....because anytime we are walking outside of His will we are, in essence, behaving insanely....and being willing to submit my will to His authority. It's good stuff.

Anyway, we are on step four now, and can I just say, it bites. "We took a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves." If you are thinking 'ouch' you would be exactly right. It's almost funny how much I've clung to my delusion that I am not an angry person. I began making a rough draft list of people I hold resentment toward, I was over thirty within fifteen minutes. Apparently I resent everyone I meet. :-) Sad as it sounds, I am still having trouble moving out of my denial.....'anger' is just such an ugly word to me, profanity almost.

That's all I've got for now, not much to say, I warned you!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!