Into the Depths: Evident Avoidance

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Evident Avoidance

I should be washing my hair. I should be washing clothes. I should be getting ready for bed. I should be doing a lot of things. Instead, I sit at the computer and try to think of something that matters enough to blog about. There are a couple things that come to mind, yet I am not sure if I want to go there.
Let's see, my sister didn't complain about my paint ideas for the girls rooms. That's handy for me. I hate to have to remind her that I am better in the decorating realm than she. ;) She mentioned they will be coming down this weekend which means I have one less week than I thought to wash all of their clothes. Better get to that. Let me just say, as I seem to be whining about that, I have an extremely kickin' washer and dryer, so really, I don't mind washing! They have touch screens, how can I complain about that.
I have exactly zero friends or family members (that count) who do not have children. I'm a loser.
My mother finished chemo last week. She starts radiation in two weeks, then they will do some test, maybe an MRI, I forget, to see if they fixed her. I think the radiation is everyday for 30 days, something like that. Then we will know if we are on the road to recovery or the road to start all over.
My nephew has started his occupational therapy and will start therapy for communication next week. We are taking part in the "Walk for Autism" in September, which I think will be good for Brendon and his mother. He will be homeschooled this year. I am not quite sure how that will work for my not so organized sister, especially since the doctor says that consistency and structure are the most important things for Bren. I guess we will see.
I was instructed for homework to find a book on forgiveness. That sounds easy, but there really aren't all that many written specifically for that subject. I did find one called "I Can't Say I Forgive You." Haven't started it yet, so I don't know if it is any good. I am kind of in a place where I don't know that reading more is going to get me anywhere. How much head knowledge does it take to change a life?? No clue.
I bought another book that I have started. It is called "The Healing Choice." I am not ready to discuss it yet, but I will say that so far it makes me sick to my stomach, so I don't know how it will turn out.
Ok, that is all the rambling I have without bearing my soul, so I will force myself to go take part in some personal hygiene. Later days...


Blogger Shayne said...

Ummm...sweetie? I love that you are into the lives of your nieces and nephews the way you are. You are a tremendous blessing in those kids' lives. And the lives of their parents.

But I just wanna back up a teensy bit to one comment that you made. You know the one. Yeah, keep scrolling back up just a tad...there you go...that "I'm a loser" comment. That's the one.

Uh huh. So...you're a loser??? By whose standards exactly? Yours? Don't you think you should give your readers a little credit? Why would we read the blog of a loser? Why would we invest our prayers, our thoughts, and our encouragement on someone who is not "all that?"

C'mon girl. You can do better than that. Just look at your life...you have survived everything the devil could throw at you and YOU'RE STILL STANDING. By the grace of God, you're still here, telling your story, making people think, and boldly going where no man has ever gone. (Sorry...that was Star Trek wasn't it? Well, you know what I mean.)

Doesn't sound like much of a loser to me. But I tell you what...if you quit writing, quit talking, quit caring about those kids and your siblings, I promise I'll change my mind about you. Maybe.

August 09, 2006 9:51 PM  
Anonymous Queen Beth said...

I want to aim you in the direction of a book that changed my life. "Healing for Damaged Emotions" by David A. Seamands. I have never been the same. It was a wonderful, healing book.

Just a suggestion. As always, I am praying for you.

August 09, 2006 11:14 PM  
Blogger Paulette said...

Hey Stephanie, I agree with everything that shayne wrote, now I dont have to write all that.
Please dont call my friend a loser, you are not.
I dont know about a book on forgiveness, but I went through a course they offer in Richardson called "The Road adventure, it was amazing and changed my life. It was powerful and put me on a great tract to healing.
Keep writing. Be Blessed

August 09, 2006 11:42 PM  
Blogger LiteratureLover said...

Girl, you are quite amazing with all you do. Since you like washing, I could send some loads over! :)

As far as your unorganized homeschooling sister, encourage her. Homeschooling is a tough thing and the mother/teacher is usually hard enough on herself. You may be surprised at how she rises to the occasion. I think it's cool that you all are doing the Autism walk.

I second the vote for the book, Healing for Damaged Emotions.

August 10, 2006 12:34 PM  
Blogger Bttrfly1976 said...

Because I am so darn obedient, I ordered the book last night. Shayne and Paulette, thanks for not thinking I'm a loser. I would argue that you don't actually know me, but I won't as I am so darn easy to get along with and, you know, hate confrontation.
LL, I am not near as nice as you think, but I would do the laundry, it is a really cool washer and dryer. ;) As for my sister, it is going to be an interesting year. Structure is hard when you have five kids, on the other hand, structure probably makes life easier when you have five kids.

August 10, 2006 7:09 PM  
Blogger heartsjoy said...

I So noticed that little slip as well...loser...guess what? I know you and you are NOT a loser! Quite the opposite! I know you struggle with seeing yourself that way but that is not how we see you. I see a very worthy, loving young lady who has an amazingly intelligent mind and seeks truth. (no denies allowed this is My perspective and comment! ;)love you girlie!

August 10, 2006 11:09 PM  
Blogger LiteratureLover said...

Winners, in my opinion, are the brave ones who share their broken hearts.

August 11, 2006 1:45 AM  

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