Nada Zilch Nicht

I got nothin'. When I go into shut down mode, how on earth I get there I don't know, but when I go there, it is just......empty. A welcome and disappointing reprieve all at the same time. The pressure's still there, I can feel it, physically. Emotionally, however, nothing. This is the time in my 'sick cycle carousel' that I would typically quit going to therapy. Leave well enough alone until the next time things start creeping back to the surface. But with satan's, I mean, my brother's wedding looming in the air, I know the next meltdown may be just around the corner. It will probably be sooner than that since my therapist has been on vacation and I go back Friday for the first time in three weeks. So, I haven't had to face anything or think, or feel, so everything just went back where it belonged, with very little coercion. Come Friday, things may look different. We get to read 'the letter'. If I can stay locked away, maybe it won't be all that hard. That is wishful thinking, I bet. Well, like I said, I got nothin', just thought I should type something so as to not nullify my existence completely.