Into the Depths: Nada Zilch Nicht

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Nada Zilch Nicht

I got nothin'. When I go into shut down mode, how on earth I get there I don't know, but when I go there, it is just......empty. A welcome and disappointing reprieve all at the same time. The pressure's still there, I can feel it, physically. Emotionally, however, nothing. This is the time in my 'sick cycle carousel' that I would typically quit going to therapy. Leave well enough alone until the next time things start creeping back to the surface. But with satan's, I mean, my brother's wedding looming in the air, I know the next meltdown may be just around the corner. It will probably be sooner than that since my therapist has been on vacation and I go back Friday for the first time in three weeks. So, I haven't had to face anything or think, or feel, so everything just went back where it belonged, with very little coercion. Come Friday, things may look different. We get to read 'the letter'. If I can stay locked away, maybe it won't be all that hard. That is wishful thinking, I bet. Well, like I said, I got nothin', just thought I should type something so as to not nullify my existence completely.


Blogger LiteratureLover said...

I'm glad you decided to write even if you've got nada. I was missing you. I will pray for you about tomorrow and the letter reading.

August 03, 2006 12:02 PM  
Blogger Bttrfly1976 said...

Thank you, for missing me ;) and for your prayers.

August 03, 2006 7:34 PM  
Blogger SuperMom said...

Your existance noted :-)

Don't give up. Even I, through cyberspace, can tell a difference. You're making progress.

Let us know how it goes!

August 03, 2006 11:02 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home