The Four Agreements that I don't really agree with much
I feel like writing, but I am not sure why or what I want to say. I am feeling more melancholy than usual today. Yes, it is possible. I feel like I want to go to sleep and not wake up for a while, you know, like a year or two. I just need a vacation, a hiatus from life. A reprieve, a break, a momentary glimpse of peace in the midst of unrelenting chaos.
I am reading a new book, homework again. It is called "The Four Agreements" and I am not really digging it much. I disagree with a lot of what it has to say, which is not abnormal. Because it is so normal, I have to really examine the 'whys' of my disagreement. Sometimes I disagree just because it doesn't fit in my box, it is somehow contrary to what I believe at that moment. I think, however, that my confusion on the points of the book thus far really are justifiable. I would tell you all about it but the book is upstairs and I am too lazy to go get it. Ok, Ok, I will go get it, hang on.
Alright the premise is that if you make these four agreements with yourself it can change your life, yada yada yada. They are:
1) Be impeccable with your word.
2) Don't take anything personally.
3) Don't make assumptions.
4) Always do your best.
I think they are all good policies to live by, for sure. However, it is in the descriptions of what they mean and the instructions for how, that it starts getting a little iffy. First off, 'be impeccable with your word.' Good idea, I get it. The word impeccable actually means 'without sin', but this book is by no means Christian. It says that sin is anything you do which goes against yourself. Well seems to me like in Christian terms that is a license to sin, the whole 'if it feels good do it' type mentality. It does go on to say that being impeccable means you still take responsibility for your actions, you just don't blame or judge yourself?? Who do you blame then? It says that the truth is the most important part of being impeccable with your word. The only way to break the 'spell' of the things we say that are not impeccable is to replace it with truth. Well, if you take God out of the equation here, where is this new truth coming from? What I know is my truth, without an absolute Truth to make it false, my truth is truth.
I know I am rambling, but I don't care all that much.
Secondly, don't take anything personally. I have trouble here already, because I take EVERYTHING personally. I know that isn't necessarily healthy though, so I read on. The book says that anything someone says to you is really about them, not about you. So, whether someone tells you you are wonderful or they tell you that you are stupid, don't take it personally because it is about them and what is in their hearts, worlds, whatever. Well, my issue with that is, how are you ever connected to anyone. If nothing anyone ever says to you can be taken personally, don't you essentially become an island. If you say 'I love you' to someone, are they really not to take it personally. Doesn't that mean no one loves anyone? I am even confusing myself now.
Next, don't make assumptions. I like this in that I do believe life would be far less complicated if no one ever assumed anything. Problem is, it is impossible. We assume all day, everyday. Can you imagine how many questions you would have to ask if you were NEVER allowed to assume anything?
Well, that is as far as I have gotten so far, so I can't argue with always do your best yet. I 'assume' there won't be all that much to argue about with that one. Am I way off base though? Am I just reading way too much into this book. I feel like I am being rational, but with me, you just never know.
Think I'll go to sleep.
I am reading a new book, homework again. It is called "The Four Agreements" and I am not really digging it much. I disagree with a lot of what it has to say, which is not abnormal. Because it is so normal, I have to really examine the 'whys' of my disagreement. Sometimes I disagree just because it doesn't fit in my box, it is somehow contrary to what I believe at that moment. I think, however, that my confusion on the points of the book thus far really are justifiable. I would tell you all about it but the book is upstairs and I am too lazy to go get it. Ok, Ok, I will go get it, hang on.
Alright the premise is that if you make these four agreements with yourself it can change your life, yada yada yada. They are:
1) Be impeccable with your word.
2) Don't take anything personally.
3) Don't make assumptions.
4) Always do your best.
I think they are all good policies to live by, for sure. However, it is in the descriptions of what they mean and the instructions for how, that it starts getting a little iffy. First off, 'be impeccable with your word.' Good idea, I get it. The word impeccable actually means 'without sin', but this book is by no means Christian. It says that sin is anything you do which goes against yourself. Well seems to me like in Christian terms that is a license to sin, the whole 'if it feels good do it' type mentality. It does go on to say that being impeccable means you still take responsibility for your actions, you just don't blame or judge yourself?? Who do you blame then? It says that the truth is the most important part of being impeccable with your word. The only way to break the 'spell' of the things we say that are not impeccable is to replace it with truth. Well, if you take God out of the equation here, where is this new truth coming from? What I know is my truth, without an absolute Truth to make it false, my truth is truth.
I know I am rambling, but I don't care all that much.
Secondly, don't take anything personally. I have trouble here already, because I take EVERYTHING personally. I know that isn't necessarily healthy though, so I read on. The book says that anything someone says to you is really about them, not about you. So, whether someone tells you you are wonderful or they tell you that you are stupid, don't take it personally because it is about them and what is in their hearts, worlds, whatever. Well, my issue with that is, how are you ever connected to anyone. If nothing anyone ever says to you can be taken personally, don't you essentially become an island. If you say 'I love you' to someone, are they really not to take it personally. Doesn't that mean no one loves anyone? I am even confusing myself now.
Next, don't make assumptions. I like this in that I do believe life would be far less complicated if no one ever assumed anything. Problem is, it is impossible. We assume all day, everyday. Can you imagine how many questions you would have to ask if you were NEVER allowed to assume anything?
Well, that is as far as I have gotten so far, so I can't argue with always do your best yet. I 'assume' there won't be all that much to argue about with that one. Am I way off base though? Am I just reading way too much into this book. I feel like I am being rational, but with me, you just never know.
Think I'll go to sleep.
posted by Bttrfly1976 at 10:47 PM
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2 Comments:
Initially, I am with you thinking the points sound pretty good. On further reading what they said I was with you on your questions. I thought the "Don't take it personal" sounded good in the negative sense but in postitive not as good. The first one bothered me when they are striving for impeccable without the help of the only one who can make us that way. And as far as the truth...I'm with you. Take God out and where is the truth. So, no, you're not reading into it to much. I think when I read something like this I take what is helpful and then let go of that which is not. I can see taking the "don't take it personal" and using that thought that it is more what is going on in their lives there. I think when people make hurtful comments it usually is about them and their hurts, frustrations, insecurities, whatever is going on in their lives.I guess on the good side you could think that if they are saying I love you, and it is all about them...then...it is good truth, but still personal? I am starting to get myself blurred. I will stop for now. But, good thoughts and questioning. Thanks for sharing.
Hmmm, those do sound strange. I think you are smart to analyze anything you read.
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