Into the Depths: Escaping The Ruins

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Escaping The Ruins

I am watching the movie made about the 9/11 Commission, as I am sure a few of you are doing. My heart still breaks when I see pictures from that day. The thousands of people covered in ash. The once magnificent buildings crumbling into mere rubble. The little girl clutching her doll standing with presumably her mother, in front of a picture of her father that no one can find. The astoundingly courageous fireman hoisting the American flag as a token of hope in the midst of despair, a symbol of courage at the center of terror. All I can think now is why don't we get the message? Not the message that there are terrible people in this world, I think we get that. Not that we must be more diligent about the people we allow into our country and onto our planes, I think we get that too. I think more about this message.

2 Chronicles 7:14

If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

I don't get why we don't get that. That is all of my soapbox for today.

I had dinner last night with the lady from my church that I told you about previously. She was having a few friends over and invited me to join them. I was terrified, of course, but after about four hours finally convinced myself to go. I am glad that I did. I still don't know why she would want me there, but am thankful that she thought of me and was willing to have me. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, a little uncomfortable as I was with a group of strangers for several hours, but they were very nice and I actually enjoyed the conversation. So, that was my social event of the week, my therapist will be so proud, I'm sure.

Soccer was entertaining to say the least. The twins mostly just followed each other around the field. Mayson was hilarious and his game was, by far, the funniest. I think he spent more time falling than he did kicking, but it was great. He was very aggressive and went after the ball every chance he got. I think his teammates fought him for the ball more often than the opposing team did. Brayton was, as is customary, a stud. He scored five of his teams six goals. He is one of those children who is going to excel at anything he sets out to do. He is just a little stud, what can I say.

I started my group at church this morning. Did I mention that, I can't remember? Anyway, it is set up as a support group and I am, of course, feeling rather nervous. The study we are doing is called "Making Peace With Your Past." This morning wasn't too bad, except when we had to go around the room and tell our name and what brought us to the group. As you can imagine, I did not love that part. We will see how it goes, I guess. I already did the first two lessons for this week, there are five each week, because I start another Bible study on Tuesday. I am doing a Beth Moore study at my neighbors church. I believe the one we are doing is on the book of Daniel, which doesn't mean a lot to me yet, but I am sure it will in the not too distant future. If nothing else, ten lessons a week will get me plenty of Bible time, right?

My favorite quote from church this morning: "Only what has been transferred can be transformed." (See Romans 12:1-2 and notice you must first present your body as a living sacrifice before you get to the renewing of your mind so that you may be transformed.)

In case it isn't clear to anyone but me, I am sort of throwing myself out there. I figure that until I exhaust every single option, I can't keep saying that God won't meet me, won't let me find Him, whatever. If I don't do every thing in my power, take every opportunity presented me, than I can't say that I did all I could and God didn't care. If I am just going to sit on my couch and watch my life pass me by while lamenting that God didn't love me anyway, well that is really more about me than God, now isn't it. So, we'll just hold onto that faint glimmer of hope and perhaps one day the fire will catch and the Light will consume.

Below is a depiction of the design for the new World Trade Center. There are three buildings and they will surround a memorial to the three thousand whose lives were taken in the destruction of the twin towers.


Anonymous Queen Beth said...

It makes me so happy to hear joy in your writing.

You are so amazing and I am so glad I get to be a part of your healing. Just reading you blesses me.

As always....prayers are lifted up!

September 10, 2006 11:14 PM  
Blogger Shayne said...

Keep throwing yourself out there. The Father will meet you I know.

Glad to hear you are doing well.

September 11, 2006 10:17 AM  
Blogger Paulette said...

Wow great upbeat post. I like hearing the joy in your words. I am proud of you Stephanie for putting God first.
The church I am visiting is beginning Daniel on tuesday mornings and I think I am going to do it as well. Id rather go in the morning.
I am so glad you went to the fellowship with those woman!! What a step.
Hope we can get together soon.

September 11, 2006 10:55 PM  
Blogger Gunny said...

And a very inspiring picture of the cross juxtaposed against the smoke.

September 15, 2006 3:35 AM  

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