Into the Depths: Annoying People

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Annoying People

Can I just say that people who have known me for many years, who were a part of my life during some of the darkest days I've known, they suck if they try to argue about something that could change my life before they know anything about it. I am a tad frustrated, in case that wasn't obvious. So there is this dude I have known for nine years now. We have been 'friends' during my most severe bout with depression, my marriage, my divorce, my hospital stays. He has seen the cuts up and down my arm and in his defense, has tried to instill in me some sort of hope for many years. To no avail, as is apparent.

Up until four months ago, I was sure that he was the 'holiest' person I knew. By that I mean that I knew of no one who seemed to seek God and actually do his best to live it out on a daily basis as earnestly as he did. That opinion changed, not because he screwed up, though he did, but because the authenticity that I believed to be the backbone of his character seemed to be nothing more than a veil. Granted, part of that is just hurt feelings talking. I thought, truly believed, that I could put our situation behind me and still carry on as normal. I couldn't. I didn't feel extreme anger or anything, I guess my trust was just broken and that was hard for me to deal with.

Now, however, I feel myself becoming pretty angry with him. Since our ordeal in April I stopped going to the church we saw one another at each week, or at least every other week or so. So, out of guilt I am guessing, he has continued to text message me on a regular basis, usually when he was feeling down about something. How thoughtful of him, huh. Anyway, when he sent me a message Sunday night I told him a little about what I learned on the emotional/spiritual connection. Two days later he texted me and said he had been thinking about it and decided it was wrong. That a Christian can just pray and God will fix everything and emotional maturity had nothing to do with it. Luckily I am smart enough to not listen to him. I think that while at one time in my life, not very long ago, I would have completely blamed myself for everything that happened between us, I did, as a matter of fact. Now, though, I am beginning to understand that there were a lot of his issues at work in that ordeal as well.

I am annoyed that he felt the need to squash my new hope. I am not sure if it is a little out of jealousy on his part, or if it is more about his denial of his own emotional issues. I am leaning toward the latter. Did I mention that he was my preacher? Anyway, I had no point to this except that I have been upset about it and felt the need to type it out.


Blogger LiteratureLover said...

I'm sorry. I think he has his own issues.

August 24, 2006 12:16 AM  
Blogger Shayne said...


There are always going to be people in your life (unfortunately most times it's the ones we love most) who will inevitably allow the enemy to use them to steal what the Lord has given us.

You hang on to what you have. It's not wrong. God is reaching out to you in a way that YOU can understand. It's none of anyone else's business. God is doing a work in YOU, and it's unique because you are unique. God loves you baby. You hold on to that and don't let anyone take it, I don't care who they are. Like RC said, thank God you were sent to a shepherd, not just a preacher.

August 24, 2006 7:18 AM  
Blogger Bttrfly1976 said...

yeah, I think you're both right.

August 24, 2006 7:52 AM  
Blogger heartsjoy said...

He is a LOSER! (big L across the forehead) OKay, that was my taking up an offense for you talking...however, truly, do like you are doing and Don't listen to him. I think it definitely could be jealousy...wishing he'd had the idea...or just not wanting you listening to someone else. But, no matter what it is, I think you are on a great track. Keep the hope and keep us posted! :)

August 24, 2006 9:28 AM  
Anonymous Queen Beth said...

I have to say I totally agree with what your pastor said in his book he's writing. The part you shared. How can we expect to move deeper in our relationship with God and trust him when our relationships and trust in people is shakey. What a wise man. How sad that your male friend couldn't see that. I have come to learn that many people who struggle with the same issues have a hard time being happy for those who are moving past them. Jealousy is right.

I'm so happy your path is leading you towards possible happiness. That's all the God wants for us.

As always...you are in my prayers daily.


August 24, 2006 10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is RC again, now about your male friend/preacher. Misery loves company. He threw the hook out their, but it doesn't mean you have to bite. The choice we make to walk the walk will always be constance. We either choose to be a victim or be victorious. I pray you choose the later, always and in all things. Cause this is not the only time the enemy is going to rear his ugly head. Their will be more hooks tossed your way, don't fall prey to them. You are choosing to walk a new path and you have the enemy in a panic, he is and will lose control over you. Don't forget he's fate was sealed by Christ at the cross. Stephanie stick close to the shepherd.

August 25, 2006 9:30 AM  
Blogger SuperMom said...

I'm glad you're getting a backbone, girl :-)

August 30, 2006 6:45 AM  

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