Into the Depths

Friday, August 29, 2008

It's that time again!!! Brayton's first tournament starts tomorrow and I am beside myself with anticipation! He is on an 8U team this season because though he is still seven, he will be eight all too soon. Unfortunately not enough 8U teams signed up for this particular tournament so his team will be playing against the 9U teams. Not too big a deal except that is where the huge leap from coach pitch to kid pitch comes in. So my sweet little 7 year old nephew will be pitching, for the first time ever, against a bunch of 9 year olds. It's gonna get interesting!

I am on a new softball team and I am loving it even more. I actually know all the people on the team this time which makes it far more enjoyable! Our first game is in two weeks and I am looking forward to it immensely. The only problem I foresee is when one of the boys is scheduled to play at the same time as I am. That will be a conundrum for sure!

I spent far more of my work day than I should have reading back through old posts of mine. I am so amazed at how far the Lord has brought me. It is truly inconceivable to me that the angry, unbelieving, broken woman that I was could be changed into a woman who loves and truly believes Jesus and all that He says He is. Were all my questions answered, absolutely not. Do I still wrestle with them from time to time, yep. And yet, I choose to see the contradictions all around me and still believe in the core of my being that He, at the core of His being, is true, right, good and loving.

On that note, I am in some serious turmoil about church. I just don't know what to do. I have begun ( six months into it) to pray for His direction but just am not getting any clear answers yet. Do I go back to my church. Do I start visiting new ones. Do I just keep sleeping in on Sunday mornings.....probably not that one. I really need to get back in church. I feel the ache for connection in my soul. I simply don't know where to go or what to do. Yuck!!

Well Blayne and I are off to have dinner with my friends from church, the two who have moved on to new ones. Then I'm thinking it'll be time for more ball practice. Hooray for long weekends!


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