Into the Depths: Vapor

Thursday, July 24, 2008


I was just sitting here typing monotonous lists at work and remembered that I have dinner planned with a couple of friends tomorrow night. When I made these plans a week ago I was a little disappointed that we couldn't do it any sooner. Then, suddenly, it's tomorrow.

I am amazed over and over again at just how quickly this life passes by.

How does that happen? As children time seems to crawl. We wait an eternity between Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. I remember clearly being told as a sullen teenager anxiously awaiting adulthood that I would regret rushing things. "Once you graduate time begins to fly," they would tell me. I balked.

It was true. I graduated high school, seemingly, no more than a year ago. In actuality, 14 years ago. I can't fathom where that time went. When did I become middle aged? Am I middle aged? Almost if not already.

It is the month o' birthdays which is probably why I am feeling somewhat nostalgic. Casta, the only child I've ever seen the moment her first breath was breathed, turned nine on Tuesday. She's nine. I remember her taking her first steps as I jingled my keys with one hand and wriggled my other hand free of her death grip. I remember waking up from a nap wondering why she was licking my arm only to discover the substance she was spreading wasn't from her mouth. I remember when she was taking a bath and I was busy fixing my hair, she said 'look teffie, I washed your phone.' I remember buying clothes for her first day of school. (She was beyond precious that day, by the way.) This year she started calling me in the evenings and reading to me by phone, I loved it.

How do you have a lifetime of memories when the time slipped by so rapidly?

My nostalgia, however, brought with it memories I wish I could forget. I remember holding that same baby girl in my arms one night as she slept and I begged God. Begged for the life of my own child. Pleaded that He make the pain go away, that it didn't mean what I knew it meant. Those prayers weren't answered the way I'd hoped. Now it's been over eight years. I remember that night like it was yesterday.

Ok this was just going to be about how time flies. Not all deep and sad. I almost went into a whole other topic but who wants to read that book.

Anyway, it isn't just a saying, that's all I'm getting at. Our lives are so very brief. Sure, sometimes I wish I could hurry through parts of it but in doing so I miss out. I don't want to miss out on any part of the misty vapors that are my life, all too soon I blink and they're gone.

James 4:14 (NIV)
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.


Blogger Campman62 said...

Dear Butterfly,
~Stumbled over your SCL post & then to your blog early this a.m.

*May you worship Him w/ your whole heart today; may pain & suffering-the anguish inside be not 'pushed down', but 'washed away' by a 'flood of His mercy & grace'.

~If the rain does not come & your are brittle & dry, do not forsake slaking your thirst on the Living Water that is His Word.

<>< Blessings to you & yours this Lord's Day ><>

[...may He truly be the 'Lifter of my head' for you]

faith, hope & love,



July 27, 2008 5:11 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home