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Into the Depths: Contemplation

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Contemplation

I have been contemplating again. Ok, really I never stop, but here is something new. I think it is actually less painful for me to believe God hates me. Sounds strange, I know, but stay with me. If He hates me, than sure, I will spend my life feeling like the worthless nothing that I am, but still, I think that it is less hurtful than the alternative. Here's why. If God does care, if He does, in fact, love me, then how disappointed He must be. Disappointment from others is something I can not stand. Nothing makes me feel more like a failure than when I disappoint. So, yet another hurdle I will have to jump over someday.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Beth said...

Girl....you need a big, giant, spoonful of Grace. You know, Grace? The stuff that says God in not disappointed in us? The stuff that says God accepts us warts and all?

Luke 23:32-43

God created you for himself. He's not going to reject you or be disappointed in you. Disappointment in ourselves is what separates us from God. God just stands back and softly repeats until you get it, "I love you. I want you. Come on back."

September 21, 2006 8:54 AM  
Blogger Shayne said...

Ditto.

September 21, 2006 9:58 AM  
Blogger LiteratureLover said...

I think I see what you mean. Beth had some good points.

September 24, 2006 10:35 PM  

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