Movie Themes and Theme Parks

So, Six Flags was mostly fun. Only a little whining about lines or which ride we were going to or I'm hot, or I didn't get to win a basketball and he did...etc. etc. I had a rule that was set in stone before we went. No Wimps. If you go to Six Flags with me, you will be riding the big rides. I am happy to say they all did pretty well. My niece Casta was the youngest at six, and even she was a champ. She had me rolling with laughter right after we got off the Flashback. She would do fine in line and get on the ride with out complaining, then keep her eyes shut for the whole ride. Then when it was over and we were walking away, that is when she would begin to cry. I know that is sad and all, but I was laughing my head off. I was like, it's over, what are you gonna cry for now. It was as though it would hit her two or three minutes after we finished that she just accomplished this huge scary feat and the magnitude of the scary ride would overtake her emotions. It was funny stuff. And did you notice she can't just have her picture taken, she has to 'pose'.

Six Flags is next door to Ameriquest Field, where the Texas Rangers play. Lucky us, last night was Ranger's fireworks night. So we got to sit down in the parking lot on the way to the car and watch the fireworks, it was a perfect ending to a long, still fun, but long day. Except of course that we got to fight the traffic of everyone leaving Six Flags and the Ranger's game simultaneously which was not all that fun.

I dropped Casta off with her mother and the boys and I got home around midnight. We slept until ten which was great, but apparently I was still wiped out. They got picked up around two and I went back to sleep and didn't get back up until six. Oops. Hope I can go to sleep tonight.

Ok enough of Six Flags. When I finally did wake up, I watched The Interpreter with Nicole Kidman. I love that movie. It is so deep and emotional and that just happens to be my favorite kind of movie. There is one part, where they are talking about her family that was murdered. She says that when you lose someone you love you look for someone, anyone to blame. People will blame God if there is no one else. She tells of a ritual her people have where after a one year mourning period, they have a night long party. At dawn, the killer is taken out to the middle of the lake by boat and dropped in the water. He is bound so he cannot swim. The victims family is faced with a choice, let him drown or save his life. The legend has it that if they let him drown then justice is served but the family will live the rest of their lives in mourning. If they save him, if they admit that life isn't always fair, then their grief will end through the mercy they have shown. She says that vengeance is a lazy form of grief.

I love that part of the movie. It resounds with something deep inside me. I don't think I am an angry person. Well, I know I am not an angry person, so to speak, confrontation is the bane of my existence. What I mean is I don't feel like I have a lot of pent up anger locked away deep inside. However, once I really start thinking about it, I begin to think that perhaps that is a bit of my mother's denial issues passed on to me. When I think of people who have hurt me deeply, really think about it, there are no good thoughts there. I don't want to kill them or anything, fear not, but would I be sad if something terrible happened to them?? I don't really think so. Is that anger or just pure hatred, are those two the same things? Then there is me. Were I honest with myself, I would realize that I am beyond angry with me. I think that often times when situations with other people go wrong, when they disappoint or hurt me, quite often it is my far too high expectations for myself being projected onto them. They, like me, of course can't live up to them, so I see their failure, which reminds me of my failure, which is what actually ends up disappointing me. I have no idea where I am going with this. I have just been going over all this since I finished the movie and I guess I am trying to process it. I guess I am wondering how it is that you get to that point of showing mercy rather than holding on to your anger and incorrectly believing that your anger is somehow exacting vengeance on them? How do you come to that point, how do you let it go, how do you forgive and how do you move on? Without a physical person, drowning in the middle of the lake that you can swim out to save, how do you get to the point of mercy over vengeance? What does that look like in tangible terms? How do you do that with them and how do you do that with you? My thought is that until I understand how to get to that place with me, and actually do so, I will never be able to get there with anyone else. I am clueless as to the 'how-to' of the situation, though.

Ok, I'm done with the rambling for now. I think I will pop some Tylenol p.m. and go to bed.