Into the Depths: So You Had A Bad Day

Sunday, April 23, 2006

So You Had A Bad Day

When is a bad day just a bad day and when is it more? When exactly does a day even become bad? Late waking up? Late to work/church/meeting? Caught in traffic? Fight with a friend? Fight with a coworker? Fight with a boss? Make a mistake? Lose something important? Is it possible that absolutely nothing go wrong and still your heart be overcome with that "bad day" feeling?

Four hours after having gone to sleep, I got up for church. No problem. My friend was on time, we went to church. No problem. I spoke with a friend I hadn't talked to in months, so we all went to lunch together. No problem. I returned some clothes to the store, bought new clothes, I went to tan. No problem. So why, why is it that I feel so sad. Not my normal sad, all depressed, wallowing in the woes of the world. I don't feel that way today. I just feel broken hearted. No one broke my heart today, or yesterday for that matter. Never-the-less, it feels broken. Can anyone tell me why? Is there some life lesson in a broken heart that doesn't come from anywhere? It just appears and knocks the air out of you and leaves you thinking, where in the world did this come from?

Even more important perhaps, how do you get over a broken heart that has no basis? To what point of reference do you return to deal with and heal if there isn't one you can see? Do you just suck it up and take it and hope it disappears as simply as it appeared? Or do you delve in and look around and feel all the nasty things you don't want to look at with the faint hope that in the depths of it you will find not just the cause but even better the solution? Is it worth it? Is the chance that you will get lost in the midst of it all worth the chance that you might be saved from it all?

Did I mention that I could ramble?


Blogger heartsjoy said...

It's worth it!! Remember?

April 24, 2006 1:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are stronger than you think you are. You've been through it and you're still standing. I would tell you some God stuff, but I also have fear of rejection and ridicule. I pray for your happiness every time I remember to pray for anything. I wish I had more blog time, but I gotty go.

P.S. You should publish some poems. They are really good (at making me want to cry for you mainly)

April 24, 2006 6:37 PM  
Blogger heartsjoy said...

Okay, bawling over that song.

anonym is right...you need to publish some of your poems.

April 25, 2006 12:50 PM  
Blogger Bttrfly1976 said...

I know, I know, it is heart wrenching. I already knew the song and had seen the video. Still last night it made me cry like a baby. Gave me more to talk to you about later though, I know that makes you happy. ;o)

April 25, 2006 3:25 PM  
Blogger LiteratureLover said...

Girl, I know how you feel. There ARE those days. But I do think it's good to look around and see if there is something causing it.

The only other time I feel that way for no reason is when it's nearing that time of the month.

April 26, 2006 9:10 AM  
Blogger Bttrfly1976 said...

lol...Yeah literaturelover, I have those three days every month where it doesn't even have to be a Hallmark commercial, it could be for McDonalds and still make me cry. As for the first part of your comment, oh you remind me of your sister. You're both right though! She loves to hear that. Thanks for reading my stuff and lending your feedback. I look forward to reading more from you!

April 26, 2006 2:06 PM  

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