Therapy Homework

When my counselor a few years ago gave me homework, poetry was the only way I knew to express my answers. I was supposed to tell what my goals for therapy were, what I hoped to gain. The first really just shows my fear. On the second one I decided that a good goal was to learn to believe the opposite of all the beliefs I held at that time. So I wrote a poem that was exactly that, the opposite of how I felt and believed, this is why I called it "Perfect."


Hope??

Hope seems unattainable, unreachable, unclear.
From the bottom of this black pit, beneath a cloud of fear.
Believing the future won't mimic the past, seems to me insane,
Risking hope but finding devastation can't be worth the pain.
Is it possible to be happy, to be loved, to be free,
To be known without being hated, without masks to just be me?
God says He has a plan for me, a future full of hope,
But when exactly does the future start, and until then how do I cope.


Perfect

Belief that I can live my life free from fear and shame,
Belief that it's o.k. to dream, to love, to feel, to change.
Belief that I am worth something, that I'm allowed to hope,
Belief that my life has a point, belief that I can cope.
Belief in a love that is real and will last,
Belief in a future that doesn't mirror the past.
Belief in forgiveness that truly is free,
Belief in a God who would choose to love me.