Into the Depths: Matter

Tuesday, February 02, 2010


why don't i matter.
why don't my feelings count.
why can't you believe me.
why can't you love me.
why is he more important.
why didn't you protect me.
why don't you now.
why do you think i would make this up.
why do you expect me to trust you.
to love you.
to honor you.
to even speak to you.
why do i feel to blame for the pain that he has caused.
continues to cause.
why do you blame me.
did you ever love me.
did that love end when i pointed the finger at your firstborn.
why can't you grasp that i needed you.
that much to my disdain, i need you now.
why am i the bad guy.
when the bad guy is sleeping in the room next to you.
why do you keep choosing him.
will you ever choose me.
love me.
believe me.

A friend suggested asking questions to help myself know what i'm feeling. Pretty sure this isn't what she had in mind. But it made me cry.....that stems from some feeling somewhere, right?


Blogger Catherine Denton said...

Wow. Good questions, Stephanie. Hard but honest.

February 02, 2010 6:45 PM  
Blogger Bttrfly1976 said...

Thanks Cathy. They are, perhaps, a tad self absorbed...details.

February 02, 2010 8:12 PM  

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